Handbook of Epictetus - Sections 16-30

These sections of the Handbook go into more practical aspects of life than the previous sections. We see how to apply what the first 15 sections taught us in real life, for example how to act when someone is weeping at a loss. "Do not hesitate, however, to sympathize with him verbally, and even moan with him if the occasion arise; but be careful not to moan inwardly (sec 16)." Despite being an event where you act with the people around you, the reader is urged to maintain a proper state of mind during the moment of great vulnerability. It has happened to me often that when I empathize with someone, their grief or anger is passed unto me, this is what Epictetus tells us to avoid at all costs.

In Section 17, Epictetus tells the reader an interesting thing, "What is yours is to play the assigned part well. But to choose it belongs to someone else (sec. 17)." We cannot choose our fate? We are destined to be whatever others want us to be or a superior force? This is extremely distubring to me as I'm used to the idea that I can choose what I want to be in life, or is this idea wrong and whatever I choose to be was already determined to happen?Somehow this reminds me of 1984 with someone or something apparently watching me and telling me what to do as Big Brother did in the book.

Despite this, the book also has some common thoughts, such as picking your fights. "You can be invincible if you do not enter any contest in which victory is not up to you (sec 19)." This is true because if you know your limits and analyze situations, you can avoid any event in which you can be defeated. What about events beyond your control such as a robbery or an unprovoked attack? If victory is not entirely up to you what do you do? You fight? You surrender? What happens in stoic philosophy when others attack you?

Theres is a couple of points I do not understand, what is wrong with trying to please others? "If it ever happens that you turn outward to want to please another person, certainly you have lost you plan of life (sec 23)." I do not see how making another person's life easier or happier could be wrong, or does Epictetus refer to "pleasing" others as sucking up or degrading yourself for them? It's confusing as a couple of sections later we read this: "You were not invited to someone's banquet? You did not give the host the price of the meal. He sells it for praise; he sells it for attention (sec. 25)." What is so different in each case? Maybe "pleasing" and "praising" are very different in definition and thus they are completely distinct issues. Still, with praise you please the person who receives it.

A very important truth Epictetus staes is how we fel different about a single event when it happens to a friend or it happens to me. "We should have remembered how we feel when we hear of the same thing about others (sec 26)." This reminds me of a time when my cousins' house was broken into and they had a terrbile experience. I thought, "Well its unfortunate but what could be done?" As soon as a similar experience happened to me I felt completely different, scared, vulnerable, powerless. The Handbook tells us to view every situation objectively in order to have a clear mind to make the best decision possible after analyzing the situation and its repercussions.